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Take issues as they arise, rather than throwing away what could be a good experience for you and her based off of what might happen. I have been married for 16 years to a cardiothoracic surgeon. Great questions, and a terrific answer, Joanna. We try to have a 'date' night although at the moment it is about once a month. That said, Mormons have learned to have fun without alcohol and often have to wait until drinkers are well-oiled and loosened up to join in the dopey-ness. Know her limits on substances. My wife is living proof that they CAN be worth it. Up to this point, she has just assumed that all atheists are innately evil people. You don't need to worry about living paycheck to paycheck. There are all kinds of Mormons, and we as exmormons should know better than to stereotype our former selves.
Love the way you normalize the challenges of being married. Play with fire if you don't fear getting burned. Those will make her think. But there are a lot of women who post here who have flipped from TBM to apostate. I dated non mormon men. What upsets me most is that he didn't realize it was my birthday, or a big one and then that his reaction was to get defensive about his plans rather than offer an alternative for celebrating with me. Dress nicely, as the girl will appreciate the effort put into looking good for her, and encourage her to do the same.
